Friday, November 22, 2013

Christmas Songs That Don't Suck

I've made a list of non-traditional ones for you guys. Some of these I think are amazingly beautiful while others are so ridiculous that I really just need someone else to hear this weird shit. And of course there are others somewhere inbetween.

1. Brandi Carlile - The Heartache Can Wait
2. Herbie Hancock ft. Corinne Bailey Rae - River (yep, the Joni Mitchell song. I prefer this version, and I'm not sorry about it)
3. Run D.M.C. - Christmas in Hollis
4. Tegan and Sara - The Chipmunk Song (ok, so you really just need to hear the first 30 seconds of it -  The rest is kinda terrible)
5. Rachel Yamagata - Baby Come Find Me At Christmas
6. Rufus Wainwright - What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?
7. Sufjan Stevens - That Was The Worst Christmas Ever! and Get Behind Me, Santa! (I mean these are honestly both for the titles. The second wins all awards ever for everything)
8. Ella Fitzgerald - Christmas Island and Good Morning Blues
9. Dean Martin - The Things We Did Last Summer
10. Wham! - Last Christmas (I mean this isn't a revolutionary pick, but come on. George Michael and other guy, this is the best Christmas song of all. Also, this video. The flashbacks are heart-wrenching. And they all packed so lightly for a weekend at the mountains! Maybe that's metaphorical for the light baggage he's carrying around for this woman that he's so obviously not attracted to. You can rest easy for a while, other guy)
11. Destiny's Child - Platinum Bells (oh hellz yes)
12. The Beach Boys - Melekal Ikimaka
13. Kem - A Christmas Song for You
14. Straight No Chaser - The Christmas Can-Can
15. Il Volo - Notte Stellata (The Swan)
16. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Christmas All Over Again (This song just reminds me of being a little kid when my parents would have Christmas parties...warm fuzzies, y'all)
17. Reba McEntire - The Christmas Guest (This song has so much dialogue and is probably the gouda-est thing ever, so be prepared. Also, "sit at the table and sup" is a real lyric in this song)
18. Elvis Presley - If Every Day Was Like Christmas Time
19. Norah Jones - Peace
20. Coldplay - Christmas Lights (don't you dare judge me)
21. Jeff Dunham - I Hate Christmas (Walter) and Jingle Bombs (Achmed)
22. Afroman - 12 J's of Christmas (this whole album is so offensive and ridiculous - this was the least incendiary one to put on my YAV blog - but so, so good. Don't listen to this one if you aren't okay with a little profanity)

So this concludes my recent binge of blog posts that come with a numerical list. I hope a couple of these songs will make you hate Christmas music a little less. Or at least you can imagine what Afroman would want for the last 2 days of Christmas that he didn't get to!




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