Monday, February 24, 2014
ALSO just had a great conversation with mah bestie Emily and she informs me that 2 blog posts ago, my strange and cryptic "I just can't, she just, I just can't :'(" post DIDN'T POST THE BRANDI CARLILE VIDEO THAT ACCOMPANIED IT. So I'm not having some crazy weird meltdown over social media over here, it was about her song. Apologies to all that were confused or concerned that I'd lost my mind. This is also for you, my one reader in Germany.
Update
What's happening, my main minions?
A good friend of mine tipped me off about this guy earlier and I want you all to see it. He's pretty incredible.
Mardi gras season is officially upon us! I am currently sick in my bed - I had to leave work early because I was sealing a concrete floor and it was all I could do to not pass out and leave one of my poor coworkers to find me permanently urethaned to the floor. I got some acid on my legs and some nasty rope burns on my hands after almost falling off a roof last week. Sometimes I find myself doing these insane things and I realize that I love my job so much it scares me.
The parades have been awesome so far. Apparently from this Wednesday until next, it is going to be a marathon of parades and craziness. I hope I'll be able to stand upright by then without the aid of someone's arm or makeshift 2x4 crutches, but I'll wheelchair it around if I have to. I'll be there.
I like to think this year will be more than an accumulation of construction knowledge and a tangle of fresh memories. Being open and honest with people is hard for me. Sometimes it feels impossible. I used to deal with this by going to a solitary place and escaping in my music. When I had a shitty round of golf, I'd listen to this song by Ry Cooder (thanks dad). I wrap up people and feelings in songs; they're how I mark off events in my life. I can't hear this one without crying - I'm pretty sure it's how I've gotten through the past 4 months or so. I think it's funny how music can cut through all the bullshit and get to you right where you are.
Anyways, I keep writing these blog posts in my mind about golf and gender and relationships, but I find exposing myself on the internet to generally be a really terrible and fake-feeling way to iron out your mental wrinkles.
Haha but actually, this year has been a serious exercise in telling people what is really on my mind and it being okay when they don't like hearing it. Also learning that I am a 3 according to the Enneagram has given me ENORMOUS insight into my life. I'm so much a 3 it's ridiculous.
I think that's enough for now. I'll try to post some of the less incriminating photos from the next week soon. I already have some pretty spectacular ones but I don't want to ruin anyone's chances of running for office one day so I'll keep 'em locked up on my phone for the time being.
Blackmail is always a good asset to have on hand.
A good friend of mine tipped me off about this guy earlier and I want you all to see it. He's pretty incredible.
Mardi gras season is officially upon us! I am currently sick in my bed - I had to leave work early because I was sealing a concrete floor and it was all I could do to not pass out and leave one of my poor coworkers to find me permanently urethaned to the floor. I got some acid on my legs and some nasty rope burns on my hands after almost falling off a roof last week. Sometimes I find myself doing these insane things and I realize that I love my job so much it scares me.
The parades have been awesome so far. Apparently from this Wednesday until next, it is going to be a marathon of parades and craziness. I hope I'll be able to stand upright by then without the aid of someone's arm or makeshift 2x4 crutches, but I'll wheelchair it around if I have to. I'll be there.
I like to think this year will be more than an accumulation of construction knowledge and a tangle of fresh memories. Being open and honest with people is hard for me. Sometimes it feels impossible. I used to deal with this by going to a solitary place and escaping in my music. When I had a shitty round of golf, I'd listen to this song by Ry Cooder (thanks dad). I wrap up people and feelings in songs; they're how I mark off events in my life. I can't hear this one without crying - I'm pretty sure it's how I've gotten through the past 4 months or so. I think it's funny how music can cut through all the bullshit and get to you right where you are.
Anyways, I keep writing these blog posts in my mind about golf and gender and relationships, but I find exposing myself on the internet to generally be a really terrible and fake-feeling way to iron out your mental wrinkles.
I think that's enough for now. I'll try to post some of the less incriminating photos from the next week soon. I already have some pretty spectacular ones but I don't want to ruin anyone's chances of running for office one day so I'll keep 'em locked up on my phone for the time being.
Blackmail is always a good asset to have on hand.
Monday, January 20, 2014
Sunday, January 5, 2014
Today
So today I had a traditional YAV experience in that I met face-on the overwhelming effects of poverty and I had no idea how to deal with it but to be totally emotionally steamrolled. I helped hand out food from church to lots of homeless folks under the I-10 underpass near St. Charles Street.
I've been attending a church that is (gasp!) not Presbyterian. This is for myriad reasons, most of which include a visceral reaction to and against church and spiritual-y things lately. I've almost had to get up and run out of church services several times over before finding the place I'm currently attending. It's been a strange phenomena that I'll probably try to tease out more in detail at some point for all you faithful readers out there, but for now I'll just say I've been attending a Metropolitan Community Church (MCC for short, goobers) that is progressive, the most friendly and welcoming place I've ever been, and mostly geared toward the queer community.
We had a potluck lunch today and they have started the tradition of boxing the leftovers and taking them around town to those who need/want it. Here's where I'll say that the single-handedly largest reason in this weird world that I'm still a Christian is the idea that God's love is for everyone, regardless of anything. And God is especially in it for the downtrodden and oppressed. This is exactly counter to our capitalist society that gives each person a value (i.e. rich person = very valuable, homeless person = no money, no contribution, totally useless, only saps resources). Therefore, no matter how many doubts I have about God's existence, the Bible's sometimes crazy misogynistic admonitions, and religion acting purely as a safety blanket, this crazy idea that every single fucking person in the world having the same enormous worth is too beautiful and perfect for me to resist. 'Cause it's all about me, goobs.
Anyways, I can't stop thinking about this one woman who drove up in a small SUV and beckoned me to her window. I was standing there next to the opened back of my friend Bob's (who is the Chief of Finances for the Loew's hotel downtown so we obviously stood out a wee tad) car, talking with other people who had seen us handing out drinks and styrofoam boxes. I walked over, slowly realizing that this woman was a hoarder. Like straight out of the A&E show. There was shit strapped to the top of her car, boxes and bags and other crazy things, and inside her car the only open air was where she was sitting (with a jittery dog in her lap) and about a square foot of airspace from the top of all the shit in her passenger seat to the roof of the car. The rest of it to the very back of the car was totally crammed with trash bags, and an inordinate amount of stuff. I asked her if she would like something to eat and she said she did. Then she beckoned me closer and I could sense that something was way off.
"I seem to have soiled myself earlier. I was wondering if you have a spare pair of pants?" She was holding her dog in her lap and I made no other reaction to this than but to sincerely apologize that we didn't have any pants but that I would look for napkins and anything else that I could find to help. As providence, or God, or coincidence would have it, Bob has prostate cancer and had adult diapers in his backseat. I put one in a plastic bag beneath her napkins and handed it to her through the window. Then she drove away.
I've been driving around the city on various trips today - coming home from church, to help a friend moveand I remember her face and I'll fall into tears. Last night, I went to a bar for the Saints game, went to an Ani Difranco concert, and spend several more hours at a bar on Frenchman listening to a band and getting drunk. The contrast is stark and is not lost on me. This woman has, to my knowledge, no feasible connections to getting help. I have a family, a strong support network, loving friends, and expectations for me that I will succeed and live a long and prosperous life. This woman has serious emotional and mental issues and is driving around New Orleans with soiled pants and a car full of garbage. Coming face to face with your privilege is a tough thing. It happens to me pretty much every single day, so don't think this is my first time meeting someone without all of my fancy conveniences.
I don't really have a point to this story except to say love each other and be grateful for your ties in life to people who can and would help if a real shitstorm ever blew over all of your life structures. I'm thankful for a God that says she is worth loving too.
Because she is.
I've been attending a church that is (gasp!) not Presbyterian. This is for myriad reasons, most of which include a visceral reaction to and against church and spiritual-y things lately. I've almost had to get up and run out of church services several times over before finding the place I'm currently attending. It's been a strange phenomena that I'll probably try to tease out more in detail at some point for all you faithful readers out there, but for now I'll just say I've been attending a Metropolitan Community Church (MCC for short, goobers) that is progressive, the most friendly and welcoming place I've ever been, and mostly geared toward the queer community.
We had a potluck lunch today and they have started the tradition of boxing the leftovers and taking them around town to those who need/want it. Here's where I'll say that the single-handedly largest reason in this weird world that I'm still a Christian is the idea that God's love is for everyone, regardless of anything. And God is especially in it for the downtrodden and oppressed. This is exactly counter to our capitalist society that gives each person a value (i.e. rich person = very valuable, homeless person = no money, no contribution, totally useless, only saps resources). Therefore, no matter how many doubts I have about God's existence, the Bible's sometimes crazy misogynistic admonitions, and religion acting purely as a safety blanket, this crazy idea that every single fucking person in the world having the same enormous worth is too beautiful and perfect for me to resist. 'Cause it's all about me, goobs.
Anyways, I can't stop thinking about this one woman who drove up in a small SUV and beckoned me to her window. I was standing there next to the opened back of my friend Bob's (who is the Chief of Finances for the Loew's hotel downtown so we obviously stood out a wee tad) car, talking with other people who had seen us handing out drinks and styrofoam boxes. I walked over, slowly realizing that this woman was a hoarder. Like straight out of the A&E show. There was shit strapped to the top of her car, boxes and bags and other crazy things, and inside her car the only open air was where she was sitting (with a jittery dog in her lap) and about a square foot of airspace from the top of all the shit in her passenger seat to the roof of the car. The rest of it to the very back of the car was totally crammed with trash bags, and an inordinate amount of stuff. I asked her if she would like something to eat and she said she did. Then she beckoned me closer and I could sense that something was way off.
"I seem to have soiled myself earlier. I was wondering if you have a spare pair of pants?" She was holding her dog in her lap and I made no other reaction to this than but to sincerely apologize that we didn't have any pants but that I would look for napkins and anything else that I could find to help. As providence, or God, or coincidence would have it, Bob has prostate cancer and had adult diapers in his backseat. I put one in a plastic bag beneath her napkins and handed it to her through the window. Then she drove away.
I've been driving around the city on various trips today - coming home from church, to help a friend moveand I remember her face and I'll fall into tears. Last night, I went to a bar for the Saints game, went to an Ani Difranco concert, and spend several more hours at a bar on Frenchman listening to a band and getting drunk. The contrast is stark and is not lost on me. This woman has, to my knowledge, no feasible connections to getting help. I have a family, a strong support network, loving friends, and expectations for me that I will succeed and live a long and prosperous life. This woman has serious emotional and mental issues and is driving around New Orleans with soiled pants and a car full of garbage. Coming face to face with your privilege is a tough thing. It happens to me pretty much every single day, so don't think this is my first time meeting someone without all of my fancy conveniences.
I don't really have a point to this story except to say love each other and be grateful for your ties in life to people who can and would help if a real shitstorm ever blew over all of your life structures. I'm thankful for a God that says she is worth loving too.
Because she is.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Christmas Songs That Don't Suck
I've made a list of non-traditional ones for you guys. Some of these I think are amazingly beautiful while others are so ridiculous that I really just need someone else to hear this weird shit. And of course there are others somewhere inbetween.
1. Brandi Carlile - The Heartache Can Wait
2. Herbie Hancock ft. Corinne Bailey Rae - River (yep, the Joni Mitchell song. I prefer this version, and I'm not sorry about it)
3. Run D.M.C. - Christmas in Hollis
4. Tegan and Sara - The Chipmunk Song (ok, so you really just need to hear the first 30 seconds of it - The rest is kinda terrible)
5. Rachel Yamagata - Baby Come Find Me At Christmas
6. Rufus Wainwright - What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?
7. Sufjan Stevens - That Was The Worst Christmas Ever! and Get Behind Me, Santa! (I mean these are honestly both for the titles. The second wins all awards ever for everything)
8. Ella Fitzgerald - Christmas Island and Good Morning Blues
9. Dean Martin - The Things We Did Last Summer
10. Wham! - Last Christmas (I mean this isn't a revolutionary pick, but come on. George Michael and other guy, this is the best Christmas song of all. Also, this video. The flashbacks are heart-wrenching. And they all packed so lightly for a weekend at the mountains! Maybe that's metaphorical for the light baggage he's carrying around for this woman that he's so obviously not attracted to. You can rest easy for a while, other guy)
11. Destiny's Child - Platinum Bells (oh hellz yes)
12. The Beach Boys - Melekal Ikimaka
13. Kem - A Christmas Song for You
14. Straight No Chaser - The Christmas Can-Can
15. Il Volo - Notte Stellata (The Swan)
16. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Christmas All Over Again (This song just reminds me of being a little kid when my parents would have Christmas parties...warm fuzzies, y'all)
17. Reba McEntire - The Christmas Guest (This song has so much dialogue and is probably the gouda-est thing ever, so be prepared. Also, "sit at the table and sup" is a real lyric in this song)
18. Elvis Presley - If Every Day Was Like Christmas Time
19. Norah Jones - Peace
20. Coldplay - Christmas Lights (don't you dare judge me)
21. Jeff Dunham - I Hate Christmas (Walter) and Jingle Bombs (Achmed)
22. Afroman - 12 J's of Christmas (this whole album is so offensive and ridiculous - this was the least incendiary one to put on my YAV blog - but so, so good. Don't listen to this one if you aren't okay with a little profanity)
So this concludes my recent binge of blog posts that come with a numerical list. I hope a couple of these songs will make you hate Christmas music a little less. Or at least you can imagine what Afroman would want for the last 2 days of Christmas that he didn't get to!
1. Brandi Carlile - The Heartache Can Wait
2. Herbie Hancock ft. Corinne Bailey Rae - River (yep, the Joni Mitchell song. I prefer this version, and I'm not sorry about it)
3. Run D.M.C. - Christmas in Hollis
4. Tegan and Sara - The Chipmunk Song (ok, so you really just need to hear the first 30 seconds of it - The rest is kinda terrible)
5. Rachel Yamagata - Baby Come Find Me At Christmas
6. Rufus Wainwright - What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?
7. Sufjan Stevens - That Was The Worst Christmas Ever! and Get Behind Me, Santa! (I mean these are honestly both for the titles. The second wins all awards ever for everything)
8. Ella Fitzgerald - Christmas Island and Good Morning Blues
9. Dean Martin - The Things We Did Last Summer
10. Wham! - Last Christmas (I mean this isn't a revolutionary pick, but come on. George Michael and other guy, this is the best Christmas song of all. Also, this video. The flashbacks are heart-wrenching. And they all packed so lightly for a weekend at the mountains! Maybe that's metaphorical for the light baggage he's carrying around for this woman that he's so obviously not attracted to. You can rest easy for a while, other guy)
11. Destiny's Child - Platinum Bells (oh hellz yes)
12. The Beach Boys - Melekal Ikimaka
13. Kem - A Christmas Song for You
14. Straight No Chaser - The Christmas Can-Can
15. Il Volo - Notte Stellata (The Swan)
16. Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers - Christmas All Over Again (This song just reminds me of being a little kid when my parents would have Christmas parties...warm fuzzies, y'all)
17. Reba McEntire - The Christmas Guest (This song has so much dialogue and is probably the gouda-est thing ever, so be prepared. Also, "sit at the table and sup" is a real lyric in this song)
18. Elvis Presley - If Every Day Was Like Christmas Time
19. Norah Jones - Peace
20. Coldplay - Christmas Lights (don't you dare judge me)
21. Jeff Dunham - I Hate Christmas (Walter) and Jingle Bombs (Achmed)
22. Afroman - 12 J's of Christmas (this whole album is so offensive and ridiculous - this was the least incendiary one to put on my YAV blog - but so, so good. Don't listen to this one if you aren't okay with a little profanity)
So this concludes my recent binge of blog posts that come with a numerical list. I hope a couple of these songs will make you hate Christmas music a little less. Or at least you can imagine what Afroman would want for the last 2 days of Christmas that he didn't get to!
Saturday, November 9, 2013
Deep Thoughts
Here are the things I spend most of my time thinking about (these aren't in any particular order):
1. How consumerism and large corporations are destroying both the planet and all living creatures.
2. That humans believe that we are inherently greater than and masters of every corner of the earth. Things like killing bugs because they're a nuisance and plowing interstates through beautiful natural environments all come from the same horrifying, entitled place.
3. I'm always insatiably hangry these days, so what da eff am I gonna eat next?
4. I should put this cool experience I'm currently having in my blog.
5. In 5 years, in 10 years, in 20 years, I'm gonna be...
6. All of the people I've known throughout my life and how relationships wax and wane. How some crawl inside my heartspace and set up permanent little hammock-type situations in there. Others look in the window, say "meh," and keep swimming around looking for other heartsystems. The people I've allowed inside and the ones I've tried to give the boot.
7. Nonviolent Communication
8. I've worked so hard on being true to myself and how I feel while also bearing out that representation in how I look. I get shit for this on occasion. Read: I'm not very feminine and this is okay.
9. The Wood Brothers have a new album out! Check it.
10. I get to create whatever kind of life I want to. Guys, this makes me so giddy sometimes that I can barely stand it.
11. Who is God? Jesus? The Holy Spirit? How should I approach the Bible? What about omniscience, omnipresence, grace, salvation, judgment, and sacrifice? Sin? Eternity? The personhood of Christ? If he hadn't been a man, would he have mattered? A calling? Is that real?
12. If I fall off this scaffolding, I will be a pretty mangled mess of human.
13. Lots of FOMO about my time in New Orleans. I wanna experience it all, y'all.
14. How comfortable and warm and happy I feel at my YAV house with all my YAVmates.
15. That I should be better at keeping up with friends/acquaintances. I suck at it.
16. My parents and siblings.
17. How much I love beer. I really love beer. All kinds of flavors and hops and colors and yeastiness and alcohol contents and ingredients from all places of everywhere. One of my roommates just brought down her homebrewing kit!
18. Dating. Lez be honest - it's on the list.
19. I should be working out right now.
20. Money. I put this one next-to-last because I care to think about it the least but I probably think about it the most. And I had to end on a good note ya know, so next-to-last it is!! How greed is a gateway to depression and constant unfulfillment but how nice it would be to have juuuust a little bit more. Being financially independent. How am I going to go back to school and also be able to live?
21. How I can exist in this world without hurting anyone or anything and how I can change something in a good way.
1. How consumerism and large corporations are destroying both the planet and all living creatures.
2. That humans believe that we are inherently greater than and masters of every corner of the earth. Things like killing bugs because they're a nuisance and plowing interstates through beautiful natural environments all come from the same horrifying, entitled place.
3. I'm always insatiably hangry these days, so what da eff am I gonna eat next?
4. I should put this cool experience I'm currently having in my blog.
5. In 5 years, in 10 years, in 20 years, I'm gonna be...
6. All of the people I've known throughout my life and how relationships wax and wane. How some crawl inside my heartspace and set up permanent little hammock-type situations in there. Others look in the window, say "meh," and keep swimming around looking for other heartsystems. The people I've allowed inside and the ones I've tried to give the boot.
7. Nonviolent Communication
8. I've worked so hard on being true to myself and how I feel while also bearing out that representation in how I look. I get shit for this on occasion. Read: I'm not very feminine and this is okay.
9. The Wood Brothers have a new album out! Check it.
10. I get to create whatever kind of life I want to. Guys, this makes me so giddy sometimes that I can barely stand it.
11. Who is God? Jesus? The Holy Spirit? How should I approach the Bible? What about omniscience, omnipresence, grace, salvation, judgment, and sacrifice? Sin? Eternity? The personhood of Christ? If he hadn't been a man, would he have mattered? A calling? Is that real?
12. If I fall off this scaffolding, I will be a pretty mangled mess of human.
13. Lots of FOMO about my time in New Orleans. I wanna experience it all, y'all.
14. How comfortable and warm and happy I feel at my YAV house with all my YAVmates.
15. That I should be better at keeping up with friends/acquaintances. I suck at it.
16. My parents and siblings.
17. How much I love beer. I really love beer. All kinds of flavors and hops and colors and yeastiness and alcohol contents and ingredients from all places of everywhere. One of my roommates just brought down her homebrewing kit!
18. Dating. Lez be honest - it's on the list.
19. I should be working out right now.
20. Money. I put this one next-to-last because I care to think about it the least but I probably think about it the most. And I had to end on a good note ya know, so next-to-last it is!! How greed is a gateway to depression and constant unfulfillment but how nice it would be to have juuuust a little bit more. Being financially independent. How am I going to go back to school and also be able to live?
21. How I can exist in this world without hurting anyone or anything and how I can change something in a good way.
Bringing Sexy Back
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